25.04.2017 Why do I feel anxious?

25.04.2017

Why do I feel anxious?

Control … that’s it, I am surrounded by situations where I am helpless and cannot change the outcome. I fear the potential that something may go wrong, even when usually nothing has happened.

Such as the repeated and recurrence of my grandma and her illness, the illness of other family members and the cropping up of new illness / situations of others. Even my logical brain can understand that people get older, and they get ill … or if someone is ill the hospital or the doctor is the best place for them, but all I focus on is the what ifs and the potential problematic outcome.

Or the what if I do something wrong at work, I am aware of the workload I have to complete, my boss has even told me that the things I do at work are not “life or death”, we have even increased the number of hours I work so that I can manage my workload a little better, and complete the jobs at hand quicker / easier. But that does not affect the complete feeling of dread I get when I receive a phone call etc. I just get myself in the mindset that I have done something wrong and I am going to get told off. Then my brain goes into overdrive .. what if the thing I have done wrong gets me sacked … how will we cope for money .. etc etc. All this and the phone call may just be to say hi, or what did I want from the coffee shop.

I do understand how irrational this may seem, however to me it’s a constant feeling of worry and dread. From waking up in a morning, throughout the day, to trying to get to sleep at night. It is constant and some days are worse than others.

I am not good for turning my mind off, and when I start to get “the feeling” my stomach turns, I feel / be sick, get very tearful, sometimes just get inside my head and fully burst into tears and usually start to breath funny.

I recently had a situation where I was on holiday with my partner, and had stuff on my mind regards family and illness, and some worry about work. I couldn’t even switch off walking up a mountain in the lake district. However .. I sadly on this occasion could not physically manage to reach the summit, and I totally got in my head that I was a failure, and what is the point anyway, and burst into tears, not a good thing when trying to walk down the side of a mountain and watch your footing. But everything just swimming around gets on top of me and one last thing can tip me over the edge.

Today has not been the best day, home alone whilst my partner is at work and I have the power of google at my hands (well until the internet went offline). I can read and read and research ideas of what to do for anxiety and look to practice mindfulness. But I feel like I have been there, and already done that and I am not getting further forwards. I have done the usual trick, analysed my meals and food (I naturally eat very healthily so nothing really needs to change) but I try and analyse it and “take back control” of my body. I tried talking to others today (I am not a talker) but I just feel like I am burdening them with my issues, and that I should be able to find a way to “fix myself”.

I don’t know what to do, I feel like I will never feel “better” and this dark cloud is going to be hovering over me. I want to feel like myself again. Right now I don’t know what to do or how to approach feeling better.

I just want to wake up and be able to take each day as it comes, and if there are a few bumps in the road along the way just deal with them like a “normal person”.

What am I scared of:

·        Family dying

·         Loosing my job

·         Stressing tom out with always being sad and anxious and then as a result loosing him

·         Being lonely and isolated

·         Making myself physically sick and “worse”

·         becoming a burden to others and causing more stress

Illness, Fatigue, Dizzyness & more

Really sorry I have been quieter than usual, over the last few weeks I have really not felt on top form.
I went to the doctors to find out I had low blood pressure, Anaemia and it was causing vertigo symptoms.


The treatment was some tablets, rest, lots of water and fruit and veg.
I was doing fine with the tablets, food and water, however the resting is a big issue for me. I cant just sit around and do nothing. Therefore for a few days I tried to go to work as usual (bad move) or even just have a 15 minute clean and tidy around in the house, which resulted in me then having hours laid home alone dizzy on the sofa.


Therefore today after 5 days off work I shall be back to work in the pub this evening for a 4 hour shift to get me back into the swing of things again.


Sadly tomorrow Tom is off to Mexico with work for about a month, therefore my buddy when I go dizzy that makes me sit down with a cuppa and a biscuit will not be here. However on the other hand I guess the house will be much easier to keep clean and on top of, so if I do need to rest I may get more chance.


Touch wood I have been able to drop down the prescription tablets a little (the doctor said to take between 1 & 3 a day depending on symptoms) so hopefully I am going in the right direction :-)


Its not great when you know you are not 100% isn't it.


Nicola

Babyliss Big Hair 42MM & Thermo heated roller review

I have recently gone into a bit of a mode to look after myself and my skin and hair a little more,
I was toying with idea of extensions, however I have decided instead to do what I can to look after my hair and treat it well, while it grows.


I am going to wash with good shampoos, and treat weekly (or twice a week) with a rich nourishing hair mask. I am looking to start taking a supplement such as biotin too.


I am aware that adding more heat to hair is not a good idea and both of the products I am reviewing are heated products, however I am very lucky that my hair holds the style for days. So if I do my hair Monday it will hold until I need to wash on Wednesday night / Thursday morning.


Babyliss Big Hair 42mm,
I love the smoothed bouncy effect when I go to the hair dressers and they finish my hair with a "bouncy blowdry". I wanted to find a way to make my hair replicate this at home. I have naturally frizzy curly hair and didn't know how / if I could get the smooth effect myself without straighteners.


I have never been able to manage the blow dryer in one hand and brush in the other system at home, therefore seeing the big hair was very interesting.
If you are not aware the big hair basically takes the two tools and turns them into one. The hot air comes out, and the brush end spins and finishes your hair.


I went for the middle size brush for my long bob / shoulder length hair. I used this one evening when I had time to play, and from shower to finished was 10 minutes! I was shocked at how easy it was even on first play. I did need to get used to pressing the buttons in the right direction for the side of my head, (curl under or curl over)


I am very happy with the full effect this gives, with the smooth finish. (please ignore the lack of makeup - it was about 9pm)

Thermo heated rollers,
I wanted a day with tighter curls and a little more vintage look so out came the rollers, I put the rollers on to hear while I had my shower (they take about 10 minutes to heat up) and then after the shower blasted my hair with the dryer (making it a big frizzy mess). Brushed through and started with the rollers. I used the biggest sizes and started on the top on my fringe / parting sections, easly securing with the comb clips. They felt secure and not tight (like pervious roller experience) I then sat down and did some work for about half a hour while the rollers cooled.
Simply hold the end of the roller and unclip the comb - once all out the hair was a tighter curl, so I simply swooshed the hair a bit (think because I'm worth it lol). I was very happy, leaving a different look.
I know that there were 3 sizes and the size of roller used and length of time you leave in can give different effects.

What do you think? Or what can you suggest of looks to try.


Nicola

The last few weeks,

The last few weeks.

I have had a bit of an emotional roller-coaster over the last few weeks, And as some things I think are best keeping private I have not posted much on here.

I have previously battled with depression, and I am aware of lots of my triggers. Recently a few of these have been apparent to me.

I have been trying to force myself into doing the things that help pull me around.

·        A bath

·        A walk

·        A run

·        Watching YouTube videos

·        Listening to music

Do you have any other suggestions?

The only other issue I am having is I cannot sleep well at night. I get to sleep easily, however then around 4am I awake and have broken sleep until I have to get up. I have tried no electronics, a bath, lavender spray and the odd glass of wine. Again all suggestions are welcomed.

Speak Soon

Nicola

July Favourites:

July Favourites:

July has been a strange month, with lots of things happening all at once and then big gaps of time with nothing. I thought why not put a short post together to let you know all about it.

Favourite place visited: This month I had a few good days out. I loved the day at Wentworth garden centre. I liked how quite it was. But I think the top day this month was the day at Donnington Formula-e. It was an interesting day with lots to do and see.

http://nicolasnewthings.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/days-out-donington-race-track-formula-e.html

Favourite food: This month I discovered I like Pomegranate. With the warmer weather at the minute I have been enjoying lots of salads. I hate them being boring, therefore I have been trying to introduce new flavors to help keep my interest. I have now tried, Avocado, balsamic dressing and Pomegranates.

Favourite photo taken: This would be the image I took whilst at Wentworth Garden centre. I like how pretty and inviting the bench is. I know how long I was sat on it after this image was taken. 

http://nicolasnewthings.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/days-out-wentworth-garden-centre.html

Favourite Beauty product: This would be my Jergens Ultra Healing Body Moisturizer. This was featured in the Feb Favs video. I have recently been having a hard time with excama and this cream has worked wonders to get rid of this and give me soft skin. http://youtu.be/QxZiXpJTnH0

Achievement this month: I have just finished my First Aid course. I am the nominated first aider at work and needed to fulfill the course again. I am glad to have passed, especially when this time 3 people on my course failed. I am glad I have the knowledge, however I do not want to have to use it.

General - Aim for next month: 

I have been trying to do something everyday that makes me happy. I have been doing well I think with this. I want to keep this up as I can see a difference in my mood and general wellbeing. I may even do the 100 days of happiness tweets to keep track of this.

Goal for next month: I am training for my Race for life - by the end of august I want to be confident about running the full 5k at a decent pace. I would also like to have received more donations towards the cause.

http://nicolasnewthings.blogspot.co.uk/2014/06/i-am-going-to-get-muddy-for-charity.html

Days out: Donington Race Track - Formula-E Testing day.

Days out: Donington Race Track - Formula-E Testing day.

I was lucky to get tickets to see one of the last testing days of the Formula E at their UK base before the start of the season in Beijing in a few months.

I have been a fan for traditional Formula One racing about 10 years ago. I never got to go and I wasn't too bothered either as I had heard a few bad things. 

Such as sitting around waiting for hours and only see something happen once every 3 minutes when they come across in-front of you. Also the noise, I am not the

best person when it comes to loud noises. I jump a mile at thunder and a balloon bursting.

As you are aware I am very proud to be an EV owner and driver and taking a sport I am interested in, advancing the technologies and making it more environmentally friendly was interesting to me. Therefore when I got the chance to go and find out more I was very excited. I was really excited to see another Renault Zoe actually registered and on the road. (up to now all we had seen were dealer demo cars) and then later in the day another one in the car park. We have gone 7 months not seeing another Zoe and then 2 in one day. Then much to my husbands delight he saw a right hand drive Tesla Model S parked right next to it. 

There are lots of statistics and information I could go on about but my highlights in a nutshell. The cars are engineered the same, same tires body etc. Therefore it is down to the computer tuning and the driver skill. I like this as no one team that can afford better gadgets have an unfair advantage. The cars are still very fast, A ‘normal’ formula one car would still have the speed advantage. But they have been racing years, and this is year one for formula-E. The noise, this was a strange one between our group I think we decided between, a loud remote controlled car and a a small jet engine. It was quite a whiney noise. 

One the day we all picked out favourite cars, I of course went for the shiny silver car of Virgin racing. The boys liked the matt black car that looked a cross between kit from Knight Rider and the Bat-mobile of team Trulli. I also liked having a few drivers that I knew who they were in the mix. 

After a coupe of hours watching from the grandstand everyone went on lunch and we got to go for a Pit Walk, this was a chance to get close to the cars and see the technology in the bays. This is also where I go some nice closer images.

After this we had our lunch and a walk up the hill to another vantage point. Through the day there were a few cars spin off and the safety car and crane were out. I guess this is part of the plan with the testing to get the drivers used to the cars.

After we had finished we had a look around the museum, (with our tickets we got 50% off entry making this £5) I think this was a good way to pass the time, but you wouldn't miss much if you decided not to go. There was a random war section at the beginning with tanks and old bikes, then it went on to race cars. There were lots of old cars and then through to modern cars. It was good to see how the aerodynamics have changed and the styling over the years. I then got to see a number of cars from back when I was watching Formula One in about 2000. Spotting the names of my favourite drivers and feeling like a child in a sweet shop.

I know there are only a few UK testing days left, but I would recommend going if you can. from going to this I am planning on following the Formula-E races. Now I just have to pick a team. With 2 UK teams to choose from I will see. I have a sneaky feeling it will be the Shiny Cars of Virgin Racing.

http://www.fiaformulae.com/en.aspx

http://www.donington-park.co.uk/

What do you think.

Nicola

New things: New Car

Over the last few months I have been looking into selling our second car and upgrading it. In theory there was nothing much wrong with the old car, It was getting on in years and a few things were niggling us about it. Therefore I thought time to look into changing it.

I have had bad experiences with cars and dealerships in the past. As I am the buyer and the name the finance goes in etc. I want to be the one the dealerships speak to when going to test drive etc. Usually the dealers wont speak to me and only speak to my husband. This annoys me very much. Another annoyance is that the dealers think they know what I want as soon as I go in. No I may not want the top of the range sports model car, but I may not want pink and shiny either.

I went to a number of local dealers, some of which were your usual salesey car garage, asking too many questions, taking way too long and not letting you even sit in a car.

Then I found Toyota, well this was a different experience altogether. I called on Friday and asked what the opening times were for sat to test drive the car. As my husband worked until late in an evening this would not be suitable. I was trying to rearrange a date that was suitable and was drawing a blank. The helpful sales may said no problem, can you pick the car up on sat afternoon and  then bring it back on the sunday. That way you can both drive the car and see what you think. This was a great idea. On the saturday I went to pick the keys up, I was literally 10 minutes signed 1 piece of paperwork got shown the car and off I went. Me and hubby drove the car and made a few decisions. The next day I went back to drop off the car, getting ready for a million questions and salesy pushy tactics. 

This was not the case, I simply sat down, he asked if we liked the car, and he showed me a few pre worked out figures on a new and nearly new car. He asked what I thought and off we went. I was very happy with all of the figures and decided to go ahead there and then.

This was when the fun began, I had been telling my husband we could not afford a new car right now and that now we had made the choice I would save some funds and buy in a few months. We I can say now this was a lie, I knew the maths and I was pretty sure before taking the car back that the deal was possible. This is when the suggestion was made to pick up the car on the very next day. This was a good plan, and helped with the surprise element. However caused me a problem, the car being part exchanged was the car my hubby takes to work. I arranged to collect him from work, so no problem.  I even got a bunch of flowers from the dealership to say thank you for the order.

To cut a long story short, I am now the happy owner of a Toyota Yaris Hybrid. My hubby had a very nice 5th anniversary present.

I will be completing a post of all about the car as I know a few people have asked for it. But as I have driven the car twice since it ws purchased, I think I need to know more about it, before I write it up.

Speak soon

Nic

Do what makes you happy:

Do what makes you happy:

Over the last few weeks I have had a few things going off in my life. There are ups and downs for everyone and I think I have finally realised that you need to to what makes you happy. Whatever that may be sometimes you just need to forget everything else and have some you time.

I have wanted to embrace the good weather we have been having, I had some help to restore the garden to its former glory. They also helped me to build a bench. I have as a result this morning had an hour out in the warm sunshine with my favorite breakfast, music on the Ipad and a good cup of tea. I felt very relaxed and happy and only had to leave my spot to come and write my blog. 

I have found that when I am low I don't eat very well and as a result over the last month I have lost almost a stone in weight. I have however started to feel a bit better and I have started feeling hungry. Eating good food is another thing that makes me happy. I generally don't not eat anything, ill have anything in moderation. I do really enjoy my fruit and veg therefore if I want chocolate cake I will have it. On a shopping trip this week I had seen an cream tea on the menu. So you guessed it I had it, and it made me happy.

I am a typical girl, I love having a bath and pamper session and sitting on Netflix with a cheesy TV show. Sometimes it is good to simply have you time. I know it can be good to talk things out and not bottle up. But is is very good to simply sit and shut out any issues for a few hours clarity.

Friends make me happy, sometimes I feel like I am the one my friends come to when they need to talk and get things off their chest. I had been feeling like people were too busy to bother them with my problems. I have realised there are a few good true friends out there that are there no matter what or when you need them. I am very thankful to them for many things and I know you may be reading.

My house makes me happy, we were very lucky to inherit a house which enabled us to buy the lovely house we live in today. I take pride in my house and keeping it tidy and homely. I have been making sure things are in their place at the minute. Yes this may be a sign of my OCD creeping out and heaven forbid if a plug socket is not turned off. But doing these things help me feel at ease and then momentarily happy.

So whats the point in this blog, well I have waffled on a bit. I just wanted to say I am human I do have happy and sad times and there are lots of things we call all do that are personal to us that can make you happy. Wether it is a short term fix or a longer term result you need to find what makes you happy and cling to it.

Try not to let your feelings overwhelm you, sometimes life is hard and doesnt always look great. But take every day as it comes and slowly things should get better and you turn a corner. Its not always easy and some tough choices may have to be made, and not everyone may be happy with the path you choose but do what you feel is right and make yourself a priority. Its your right to be happy.

Nicola 

x

Liz Earle: Hot Cloth Cleanser:

Liz Earle: Hot Cloth Cleanser:

A few weeks ago I was very lucky to be sent a sample of the hot cloth cleanser.

I had heard a lot about the product and I wanted to give it a try. Due to my sensitive skin I didn't want to spend a lot of money on the item to have an allergic reaction. Therefore when I was asked to try the product I was excited.

Once the item arrived this was packaged in simple white tissue with the blue liz earl logo.

Included is a 50ml pump cleanser solution and 1 muslin cloth. 

My first impressions were the cream smelt lovely and I can see how the smell would be very refreshing. However I thought the muslin cloth was very stiff and tough.

I used the product for the first time that night, Applying a pump of the cream on to a dry face massaging in to loose the makeup and daily grime. I then wet the muslin cloth in warm water. (This made the cloth a lot softer) and wiped away the residue. 

I was amazed at home much came off the cloth as the first day I had not been at work and had very little makeup on.

My skin felt clean as was visibly glowing. This was after just one use. I carried on using the product for the rest of the week and as every day when on I was still loving the cleanser. I was amazed at the results on a day I had a full face of makeup including waterproof mascara how well the cleanser worked in one application. (i thought i would have needed to do the process twice that day)

Therefore I am very glad that I have tried the product. I shall be looking to find other trial or travel sizes within the range and check I get along with them. I think I shall then be investing in more from the Liz Earle range of skincare.

*this was a free sample sent to myself for review. The thoughts and comments are my own.

Days out: Wentworth Castle Gardens

Days out: Wentworth Castle Gardens

This weekend had the weather forecast of being sunny and nice so myself and my husband decided to don the walking boots and go out.

We decided to go somewhere within driving distance in Zoe, therefore we opted for Wentworth Castle Gardens. This is near Barnsley which is about 30 miles away from us. After a drive out around the countryside and some windy roads we arrived.

The car park was quite busy but we got a space straight away, Then there was a little walk up the hill to the entrance. (if you are disabled you can drive up this hill closer to the entrance and show your blue badge).

You enter through a quaint gift shop where you smell the food from the lovely cafe and buy your tickets. Then you get your map and you are off the explore. There is a lot to see and wether you like animals (lots and lots of sheep) the buildings or the gardens there are many places to see. Also something I really liked is there are lots of benches and seating around the park.

We went to see the newly refurbished conservatories. It was interesting to see how they used to look and their transformation to what is now a light bright and modern indoor garden space. 

From here we wondered off the main path and went into the woodland and the trails. This was ideal for the walking boots as it was still a little muddy underfoot. Yet again we were greeted by hundreds of daffodils. this reminded me why I like to get outdoors in the spring.

I then spotted a very interesting looking tree. Now don't think I've gone mental but I saw this and it took me back to my child hood and I shouted and pointed like a 2 year old. “Fairy Steps” my husband looked at me gone out and then looked where I was pointing and smiled. What do you think? I can understand why the fairies would like to live high up in the trees and maybe they don't want to use their wings all of the time.

We walked up to the castle and then went up the 83 steps to the top of one of the turrets. Where we had a nice view over the park and the countryside. The only thing that could have been better was the weather was still a little misty and after all of those steps a seat would have been greatly received.

We wondered back through the well manicured gardens and all of the little gates back towards the beginning. I can see how this would be a lovely place to come in the summer when the flowers are in full bloom. Finally we arrived back the the cafe, where a homemade jam scone and tea awaited. A great way to finish off the day.

I would recommend going here, I can see how some of the hills and slopes could be an issue for wheelchairs if you went away from the footpaths and I would think a more off road type buggy would be needed.

The entry was reasonable at £5.50 each and this included a parking token. We did spy that national trust members got 50% off. On entry and paying we were also asked if we were eligible to or interested in giving gift aid on our ticket price. I think this was a great idea as 20% goes back to the company as a tax relief donation.

http://www.wentworthcastle.org/ 

10 Things you didn't know about me:

10 Things about me: (and 2 you probably did)

Where do I live:

I live in Doncaster, South Yorkshire

How old am I:

I am 27 (just)

Where did I go to school:

I went to school in Doncaster and University at Staffordshire (stafford campus)

Where do I work:

I am a warehouse manager at an online furniture company based in Doncaster. I also have my own photography business that covers weddings, studio photography and corporate photography.

What car do I drive:

I answered this in a recent blog: I drive a 100% electric Renault Zoe

http://nicolasnewthings.blogspot.co.uk/2014/03/have-you-met-zoe-i-love-her-very-much.html

Are you in a relationship:

Yes I am married and have been for around 5 years, I went to 6th form and university with my husband so we have been together for what seems like forever.

What is your favourite food:

I have to be careful with what I eat as I am coeliac, I love Chinese food but I cannot just go to the chinese as usual and have to make it at home which takes away the sparkle. Therefore my safe favourite is a good steak and chips - (http://nicolasnewthings.blogspot.co.uk/2014/02/about-me-im-coeliac-and-what-that-means.html)

What is your favourite beauty product:

May favourite thing ever is perfume, I love love love, D&G the one. I would safely say this is what I always smell of.

What is your favourite home product:

I love candles, At present my favourite is my Partylite jar in Iced Snowberrys. It has a very fresh and clean smell, which is not too overpowering. 

What is your favourite electronic:

This is a though one for me as I do love my gadgets. From my I-pad, to my phone (nexus 4), to my car, to my camera and lenses and many more things besides. I would class myself as a gadget lover. 

I think ..... the award goes to ...... my Canon 650D (and the lenses to match of course)

Where is your favourite place you have visited:

I have been very lucky to have visited a number of countries. The best holiday I have been on as a whole was one big surprise by my husband. It was kind of a late honeymoon but I knew nothing of the location for nearly 2 years. We went to Singapore via a stop off in Dubai. This was amazing and the country is so beautiful to visit. I don't understand how many people just stop off here and never leave the airport. I would love to go back again, we spent 10 days here and we did not see everything.

Who are your favourite bloggers:

I do have a few, from the famous to the not so famous.

I do love Tanya Burr and her style and the way she is so effortless. Also I love Louise - Sprinkle of glitter and how down to earth and real she is.

I also love to read from http://wonderfullyrandom.blogspot.co.uk/ this is one of my school friends Kiri. She has a lovely baby son and she is a very keen baker she always shares something insightful.

And my home and beauty go to guru: http://lucyywrites01.blogspot.co.uk/

This girl is Coeliac like me and loves to bake, she knows home style and is a beauty guru. I have on many occasions direct messaged her with beauty problems and she always responds to me.

I hope you have enjoyed getting to know me more.

Speak soon

Nicola 

x

Me and Photography.

Hello again,

I thought I would share with you a little more about me and my hobby / sideline job. I have now for around 5 years been a wedding photographer.

I love my job as I appreciate how every wedding and event is different. From the couples, venues, dresses, guests. You name it, its different.

I currently take about 10 weddings a year and would love to have more. At the moment this is a sideline to my ‘proper job’.  My aim is in a few years to leave my current job and do photography full time. 

Within my ‘proper job' I cover product photography and then with my company its weddings and studio shoots. 

Then to make things worse, I love to get wrapped up warm and go out with my camera and take even more pictures. Such as going to our local wildlife park and snapping away. I'm not often in front of the camera.

If you are interested in taking a look at any of my images my gallery is here: 

http://www.new-images.co.uk/weddings.php

I am planning on adding more of my personal images to pinterest / instagram to give an outlet for them. Also I shall of course be taking images myself for within my product reviews.

Anyone that would like to know, I use mainly a Cannon 650D camera.

What are your passions? 

I can safely say my name is Nicola, and I am a Photo-taker-aholic.